Thursday, February 26, 2009

Hmmm... Valentine's Day??

More than a month ago, I found myself staring at an advertisement in a newspaper. The bold pink letters announced the arrival of the greatest day in human history. I scoffed and turned the page. Don’t take me wrong because I wasn’t ridiculing something like Martyr’s Day or Republic Day and they deserve more attention and publicity than they get. The day being advertised in the newspaper, however, is the most hyped and perhaps, the most depressing day ever invented in the course of human history - Valentine’s Day.

I am pretty sure that the 14th of February was not as commercial or saccharine as it is today. The tradition of celebrating this day started in ancient Rome. The 14th of February was marked as a holiday to honour Juno, the queen of Roman gods and goddesses. She was also known to the Romans as the goddess of women and marriage. The Feast Of Lupercalia was held the following day, the 15th of February.

One version says that St. Valentine was a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on the 14th of February, 269 A.D., the same day marked for love lotteries. Another version says that during the reign of Emperor Claudius, the Roman Army was rather small and finding new recruits was difficult. The Emperor believed that the reason for the low number was that the men did not want to leave their wives and families. In a rather cruel move, he cancelled all marriages and engagements. St. Valentine, a Roman priest and St. Marius helped Christian martyrs and also got couples married secretly. When they were found out, the Prefect of Rome condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and have his head cut off.

Perhaps, it is for the best that St. Valentine is not alive today to see what his brainchild has morphed into - a commercialized monster growing from the profits that it makes every year. I was walking past a previously lonely stationery shop in my neighbourhood and was stunned to see that every corner was crammed with sickeningly sweet red and pink balloons. The shop, that was almost completely obscure over two months ago, was filled with mushy couples giggling over the merchandise.

Today you can’t walk down the road without being harassed by huge boards stating that you need love in your dismal, lonely life. Now, if you interpret it correctly, what they are really saying is that they need more money to publicise themselves and therefore, we need to help them by falling in love and indulging in some serious shopping on V - day! So, along with the pressure to become a doctor or an engineer and get married, we are now pressurized to fall in love.

On top of that, our inboxes are now flooded with emails demanding to know whether you “have found the right man” or whether you are “really in love”. Special programs aired on the television interview celebrity couples on Valentine’s Day asking them how they fell in love and how they keep the “magic” alive. The worst part, however, is that in certain parts of the city, you cannot wear certain colours on “the day” and expect to survive on the roads. You are usually mistaken for a lovelorn girl searching for the right guy. No doubt if I wear a colour that says I’m available, it is my fault but then again, after the basic shades, you pretty much run out of colours!

Along with this comes a new warped definition of love. “Love is blind”, “love has no reason” are thrown in your face when you give rather logical reasons for not having a boyfriend. However, the love that we connect to Valentine’s Day is as false as it can get. As Maurice Chevalier once said, “Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.” While I personally have nothing against the idea of love, there are a few aspects I disagree with. However, the one thing that I appreciate about the modern idea of love is that it’s more sensible than it used to be. While critics may say that true love has taken a step back by depending on the size of someone’s wallet, I think common sense has grown by leaps and bounds. It is definitely better than falling for a pauper and regretting it for the rest of your life.

Coming back to our topic at hand, a friend once told me, “I don’t understand why Valentine’s Day is meant only for the couples. Shouldn’t it be a day when you get to spend time with your loved ones? Valentine’s Day is now seen as a day when men go broke as they rush to buy flowers and gifts for their girlfriends. Frankly, it’s of no use because by the next Valentine’s Day, they’re doing the same thing for someone else.

I can’t say that Valentine’s Day passes without affecting anyone, even the toughest at heart. Everyone, in a way, celebrates it whether they like it or criticise its existence to no end. There are two ways in which different people celebrate V-day. The first way is very common - to go out with your partner and celebrate the day with flowers, gifts, the works. The second method is to sit in front of the telly all day, watching romantic comedies and guzzling down bar after bar of dark chocolate. No prizes for guessing what I did this Valentine’s Day!!

CHAPTER 7

DISCLAIMER - This incident is based loosely on a true incident and may have been exaggerated a little and the author would like to say to the people involved - "Hey, no hard feelings, please?" because she treasures her rear and would like her face to stay in decent shape.

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The lecture came to an end abruptly as the bell rang out shrilly. Petunia's face seemed radiant and you could almost see a small smile forming. The same could not be said for the rest of the class. As luck would have it, I was not the only one who had been dissed. Nika who was valiantly trying to voice her opinions was told that she was wrong and that she had better sit down.

People stood up around me, getting ready to leave college for the day. I remained glued to my seat in shock. I had just lived through a feminist lecture - I never thought that I would make it through half the lecture! Of course I'd gotten jacked in the middle but I'd still survived to tell the tale. "Rhea?" came a blurry voice, interrupting my thoughts. "Huh?" I said groggily, as I slowly came to. Sanjana was standing next to me, a broad grin on her face. "If you rub it in, I will beat you up. Wipe that stupid smile off your face!"
- "I'm not saying anything.."
-"Well, your face says it all!"
- "Not my fault that I have an extremely expressive face and large eyes.."
-"I'm serious about beating you up."
"OK, OK," said Sanjana, "we have a GB to get to now. So hurry up." I groaned and covered my face.

A GB, for those who don't know, is a general body meeting. They were probably designed for a purpose at first but now we just got yelled at a lot in GBs for either not doing our work or behaving badly. Now and then, A GB would be called to tell us what activities are coming up and very rarely, GBs were called to congratulate us for our decent behaviour.

We shuffled out of class slowly, not very eager to get to the meeting area where a large number of girls had already assembled and were gossiping away to their heart's delight. Cara, Rashmi and Preethi, three of the Rotaract officials stood in front of them. A visibly frustrated Cara was talking to Rashmi every few minutes while Preethi was her perky old self, hopping around as she listened in on the conversation.

Sanjana and I walked up and pushed people around a little so that we could sit down in a place with atleast a little shade. Most of it had been taken up but this is why you run to a person whom you know and then sit down next to them. "Alright people, settle down. We're going to start now - please be quiet," said Cara, her usually calm voice tinged with a hint of impatience. Next to her poised, calm nature, I always felt like a clumsy oaf who couldn't pronounce words like "trepidation" or "serendipity" without messing it up.

There had been one incident when I was getting a drop home. Cara had offered to drive me back along with Rashmi. She and Rashmi were discussing their jobs in Rotaract and some other organisation. I sank into the backseat as far as I could go, peeking out of the window only once to drool at Kunal Kapoor's posters.

Cara opened her book and started dictationg a list of activities and events that would take place in the course of the month. Most of the crowd continued chattering while a few industrious people (including yours truly) took down the dates. I have been teased and ragged about it but at the month I'm the one considered the saviour so I really don't care! "And now," said Rashmi as she closed her book with an air of finality, " we've noticed that many of you register for the events but do not turn up for any of them. So we've decided to subtract hours from your total hours if you continue to do so."

A section of the crowd fell silent. "This means," continued Rashmi, "that if you sign up for an event and do not turn up for it, we will remove the hours that you would have gotten from it from your total hours." "Brilliant, just brilliant!" muttered Sanjana. Most of the crowd had fallen silent now. As Cara and Rashmi took turns reproaching the entire crowd for their lack of sense of duty and disobedience, I stared down at my book, watching the lines and letters form swirls of dust that vaguely resembled Captain Jack Sparrow doing the salsa with Tom (from Tom and Jerry, in case you didn't know) "Oh dear!" said Sanjana, as the meeting ended. "Hmmm?" I said watching as Tom morphed into the Kraken and devoured him.
-"What are we going to do?"
-"What are we going to do about what?"
-"Were you even listening to her?"
-"Not really, I was watching Captain Jack..."
-"You freak, we bunked the rally!!"
-"Oh, oh that! Crap! What do we do?"
-"We have to talk to them so..."
Sanjana gestured at me, trying to make me get up. I stood up and the two of us shot off towards the science block, with many pairs of amused eyes on us.