Train rides and self-help books

The train ride to Bangalore was absolutely dismal. I found myself watching "You've Got Mail", after realizing that we had a good four hours to reach our destination. It came as a rude shock to me when the movie got cut halfway and jumped to Timbaland's video of "The Way I Are". As much as I like the song, the sudden jump from a rom-com to a music video with Timbaland's face staring back at you is not very digestible. People around me were either busy reading or making small talk with their neighbours. Children were running up and down the aisle wildly, screaming in excitement. Ah! If only I were that small and was able to understand what on earth they found so delightful so I could take part in it and atleast pass the time. As far as my neighbours (most of whom were my family) were concerned, the man in front of me was absorbed in a self-help book. It's title screamed out "You Can Win!" and the reader seemed absorbed. I almost felt like tapping his book and telling him that I had learned the hard way that no matter how many self-help books you read, you will never win that debate competition in front of the entire college. Or cook that delicious chocolate cake that looks flawless on the cover of a self-help book for cooking - that's all just Photoshop. Of course, he looked older and much larger than me so I decided against it. The men in the row across the aisle were discussing rises and falls in the stock market and how the highway system was not being worked on very well. In the midst of this intelligent discussion, one of them cracked a very lame, "punny" joke (as a friend would put it) and the two collapsed into fits of dignified laughter. I lost interest in them at exactly that moment. For the next three and a half hours, I watched the trees flit by, in a hurry to get nowhere and stopped the bread-and-omelette man every time he passed me in order to buy a plate. My sister did the same for the vegetable cutlet man. And some advice for those of you who wish to travel by train to a place that is ages away - make sure your movies do not get cut in the middle and do not book seats in the new, improved Lalbagh. All they do is give you a very bad back-ache.

Random

It's a few months after my last post. I can safely say that I have had writer's block and the only reason for that is that I haven't been depressed for the past few months. Good for my health, bad for my sanity... This is probably one of the few redeeming qualities I have and to think that my mood swings determine when I write well is a thought that completely puts me off. So much for becoming the next Goethe... or Poe... or anyone for that matter. However, staring at my blank notebook page without so much of a spark lighting up somewhere in my brain has taken its toll. I have an unused notebook, calling to me in desperation before the stench of mothballs consumes its innate scent and a blog that will probably cease to exist in the minds of the same people it had earlier delighted. "No!" I thought to myself, "I must not let this happen!! I have a responsibility towards this blog! This blog - " pointing to the computer screen, " - is nothing less than a human soul!"

And so I sat at my computer table, drumming away (not at the keyboard) wondering what I could possibly write that could interest the few but happy souls reading this. And I thought... And thought... And thought... By the end of an extremely disturbing movie, I still had nothing to go on. It is only at these turning points that you realize that there's a spot on the computer screen that you've forgotten to clean or that your left ear seems slightly larger than your right.. or not. So I figured that maybe one of my previous articles or poems could inspire me to write something new - or I could just put one of them here and tell you all, "Yes it is new! Why thank you! How nice of you to say so!" I'm evil and conniving but I just don't have the capacity to make decisions like this. Too many choices!!!!

If you're wondering, I did consult my previous articles and I realized that everything I had written about was myself. I know what's running through your head. You're probably thinking, "My! That self-centred girl! Doesn't she know that people are going through worse pain?" I thought that too. It's a very bad thought to hit you when you're right in the middle of an interesting article because then you begin to wonder, "Should I write about something else?" So I pondered over the question, which is an extremely overwhelming and exhausting task. I had to eat a few cookies to make it through. Should I write about something philosophical, like one of those blogs that you stumble upon, something that would make you question the very fibre of your being? Or something important, like a political decision or a natural calamity?

The flaws in both these ideas were probably the most obvious. Idea no. 1 had a very simple flaw - questioning the fibre of anyone's being tends to come back and bite me in the arse (I was going to say ass but this way it just sounds so much more prim and proper. If you look closely, you can see the smug grin on my face for being so smart.) Idea no. 2 has a very obvious flaw - My knowledge about political decisions falls somewhere in the negative side of the number line. The last time someone spoke to me about the N-deal, I spaced out and landed up in a different time zone altogether.

So that effectively ruled out the only two choices I had come up with. I also realized something else. Writing is not my only talent. Don't get too happy - I'm still depressed (If only depression were a superpower...) The next thing I'm good at is coming up with opinions that, if you look closely, coincides with common opinion BUT I'm one of the few who can write an entire article about it and then put it on a blog for a lucky few to see. And then feel like I've finally done something worthwhile. The things I do... So I'm back to square 1. I figure that writing my opinion is a fun thing for me to do but I'm not quite sure if it's a fun thing for others to read. So if anyone, anyone at all, comes up with an idea that you think that I could possibly put to use, please email me. or broadcast this message into space and see if someone replies. You never know - they might find this more interesting than the numerous speeches that have been sent out. They're not going to make contact if they keep falling asleep. As for the ones who don't have a topic in mind but would like to express themselves - you're welcome to comment. I shall take all - the good, the bad and the ugly.

Till a more depressing time...