As our first ECA (end of semester exam for those who are not in the know :D), we rapidly transformed into a bunch of disoriented maniacs, spewing random facts from our textbooks at completely irrelevant times. While Sanjana stepped with ease into her "I'm-studying-and-I-will-not-socialize" shoes, I realised that if I didn't keep in touch with anyone, I would probably end up failing every single exam.
Every morning, I would wake up at 9:30 a.m. and settle down at the dining table with the newspaper in my hands. At 10:00 a.m., I would sit in front of the television and watch Hindi songs (it was the only way to calm myself down). At 11:00 a.m., I would sit at my desk, religiously poring over my portions. After lunch, at around 3:00 p.m., I would pick up the phone and start calling everyone I knew. Here's a typical conversation between any two people whom I've mentioned in the last few chapters: -
A - Hey!
B - Hey!
A - So... how's the studying going?
B - Um.. Don't really know.. Nothing's going into my head.
A - Ah!
B - What about you?
A - Oh, the same, the same...
B - Hmmm... Hey! Did you watch yesterday's 9 'o' clock movie on Star movies?
A - I did!! It was hilarious!!
B - Especially that bit where they...
And so on and so forth...
And in the midst of all this madness, more whackiness came in the form of voice messages. For those of you who don't remember, the ad campaign featured Saif Ali Khan and Shahrukh Khan with the former practicing how to tell his love that he missed her, on the latter. A few days before my Developmental Psychology paper, I was sitting on the sofa and racking my head for a reason to start studying when I received a call from Aditi. I picked up the call and was about to say "Hey!" when with much aplomb, Aditi said, "I miss you so much it huuuurts!! Isn't this cool?" she continued before I could suspect a difference in her sexual orientation, "Send me some alright?" Before I could properly understand the situation, I found myself calling up random people and sending them even more random voice messages.
Finally, the day before the fateful exam, I felt a deep urge to bang my head against a wall and I finally decided that it was time to start studying. After cramming in as much as I could, I set off confidently for my exam only to be handed a paper that looked like it was written in a different language. I felt like I was a part of one of those movies where the protagonist gets back from an awesome party and then realises that he knows nothing in the paper, the only difference here was that there was no 'awesome party' and this was stuff that I vaguely remembered reading the previous night.
After the longest and most awful three hours of my entire life, I walked out looking like my dog had died only to find the same expression on everyone else's face. "I'm not the only one?" I asked, some relief flooding my heart. It's very disturbing to find yourself amongst people who have done extraordinarily well when you haven't and I was glad that this wasn't one of them. "No," said Kalyani in a mournful voice, "This was the worst exam I've ever written. I actually started crying in the exam - I kid you not." "It wasn't that bad," said Zaara, with a very far-away look on her face, "just very general. You can write quite a bit though." I sighed - so much for support. Hoping to turn to a slightly more interesting topic, I asked, "So after the exams get over, when does college re-open?" "In three days." said Kalyani. "Dang nabbit! There goes my recovery period." Sanjana looked rather annoyed. "I think I'm going to need a lot of cold coffee to drown my sorrows in..." I trailed off. "Rhea," said Tia, with laughter in her voice, "you're going to need a lot more than one!"
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
CHAPTER 9
"Rhea, please stop yawning! It's not helping any of us!" said Sanjana in a very tired voice. "I'm sorry but getting up at 5:45 a.m. just so that I can reach the beach, of all the places, by 7:30 a.m. is just not my thing!" I said just a few seconds before I yawned again. At 7 a.m., I found myself standing on the beach trying desperately to stay awake. It should have been an easy task, considering the fact that it was a terribly hot morning. Sanjana had settled down on the pavement, her legs crossed while Nika stared out groggily at the blue expanse of sea ahead.
"I can't take this anymore!" said Tia as she pulled herself up. "I'm going for a walk. Does anyone want to join me?" "Oh yes!" said Sanjana, jumping up, albeit still quite disoriented. She tottered for a moment or two and then regained her balance. The two of them slowly made their way towards the water.
Nika and I stared at their retreating figures. "How long are we supposed to stay here again?" I asked. Nika, her palm on her cheek, turned to em awkwardly and said, "About 3 or 4 hours?" I sighed as I tried to push my hair out of my face. "You know," said Nika, "this would actually be romantic if either you were a guy or I was a guy.." I turned to her, a skeptical look on my face and said, "How nice of you to make this a lot more awkward for the both of us now! No really..."
Nika grinned her usual way and turned to look at the sea. I followed suit only to see Tia and Sanjana msking their way back towards us. "You know what happened?" asked Sanjana, her trademark grin in place. "What happened?" asked a visibly excited Nika. It was just very like her - mundane things and celebrity gossip make her look like she's had a few shots of vodka.
"Well, we reached the water and we were talking and suddenly," she went on, " these two girls from evening college (I think..) with cameras ask us to pose for their photos!" "Oh well, that's nice!" I said. "But that's not the entire story!" said Tia, her eyes gleaming, "So these girls ask us to face the water and - get this - hold hands!" "So Tia and I are standing there and giggling away to glory," continued Sanjana, "while these two are standing behind us, clicking and laughing their heads off as well!" "We looked so gay!" said Tia, putting her hands to her head, "People must have thought we were a gay couple or something!" "Oh thank God! Zaara's coming! I don't think I could have taken any more of this!" I grinned at their indignant faces.
"Well, fine, Rhea! Atleast we're interesting people with interesting stories to tell, right Sanjana?" Sanjana nodded fervently in reply. "Hey, what about me?" asked Nika, "I didn't scoff at you guys..." "Oh yeah! And Nika too!" said Tia, with mock anger. "Hey!" said Zaara as she reached us. "Guess what?" said Tia in her 'happy' voice, "Two girls made us pose for their photos and made us look like a gay couple!" "Uh-huh?" said Zaara, confusion evident on her face, "I'm so proud of the two of you?" "Bah!" said Sanjana, "another disbeliever! I'm hurt!" "Yeah Zaara! How could you do that?" asked Nika, her head bobbing furiously, "that's equal to saying that you don't support the gay community!"
"Well in that case," said Zaara, "I'm so proud of you! You finally came out of the closet! Better, Nika?" "Yeah, whatever man! I'm bored now.." Nika smiled again. "Hey look they're handing out posters!" I said, as a group of girls started handing out rolls of chart in front of us. "Oh, we're finally starting!" said Tia, as she tried pinning on a red ribbon that she had been handed. Zaara sighed and said, "On the bright side, we'll back home two hours from now."
***********************
10:30 a.m. - We found ourselves still standing on the beach, sad faces in a row. We were holding up a poster each, dismally staring into the distance. At about 9, just as was expected, a rather strong downpour of rain hit us and we crouched under our umbrellas, which didn't really help us much. A few moments after the rain stopped, truckloads of men wearing yellow shirts started arriving at the beach to listen to some politician's rant. It was almost ironic considering that we were fighting against sexual harrassment after it started taking place right there. "So this is the thanks we get for fighting against sexual harrassment? A bunch of lecherous dodos ogling at us? That's too ironic for anyone's standards!" said Sanjana, her jaw looking a lot sharper than usual. "Well, it's over, man! Let's just go home now - I'm exhausted!" said Nika. Tia nodded in agreement and we made our way to the refreshment stands to find Cara.
"I can't take this anymore!" said Tia as she pulled herself up. "I'm going for a walk. Does anyone want to join me?" "Oh yes!" said Sanjana, jumping up, albeit still quite disoriented. She tottered for a moment or two and then regained her balance. The two of them slowly made their way towards the water.
Nika and I stared at their retreating figures. "How long are we supposed to stay here again?" I asked. Nika, her palm on her cheek, turned to em awkwardly and said, "About 3 or 4 hours?" I sighed as I tried to push my hair out of my face. "You know," said Nika, "this would actually be romantic if either you were a guy or I was a guy.." I turned to her, a skeptical look on my face and said, "How nice of you to make this a lot more awkward for the both of us now! No really..."
Nika grinned her usual way and turned to look at the sea. I followed suit only to see Tia and Sanjana msking their way back towards us. "You know what happened?" asked Sanjana, her trademark grin in place. "What happened?" asked a visibly excited Nika. It was just very like her - mundane things and celebrity gossip make her look like she's had a few shots of vodka.
"Well, we reached the water and we were talking and suddenly," she went on, " these two girls from evening college (I think..) with cameras ask us to pose for their photos!" "Oh well, that's nice!" I said. "But that's not the entire story!" said Tia, her eyes gleaming, "So these girls ask us to face the water and - get this - hold hands!" "So Tia and I are standing there and giggling away to glory," continued Sanjana, "while these two are standing behind us, clicking and laughing their heads off as well!" "We looked so gay!" said Tia, putting her hands to her head, "People must have thought we were a gay couple or something!" "Oh thank God! Zaara's coming! I don't think I could have taken any more of this!" I grinned at their indignant faces.
"Well, fine, Rhea! Atleast we're interesting people with interesting stories to tell, right Sanjana?" Sanjana nodded fervently in reply. "Hey, what about me?" asked Nika, "I didn't scoff at you guys..." "Oh yeah! And Nika too!" said Tia, with mock anger. "Hey!" said Zaara as she reached us. "Guess what?" said Tia in her 'happy' voice, "Two girls made us pose for their photos and made us look like a gay couple!" "Uh-huh?" said Zaara, confusion evident on her face, "I'm so proud of the two of you?" "Bah!" said Sanjana, "another disbeliever! I'm hurt!" "Yeah Zaara! How could you do that?" asked Nika, her head bobbing furiously, "that's equal to saying that you don't support the gay community!"
"Well in that case," said Zaara, "I'm so proud of you! You finally came out of the closet! Better, Nika?" "Yeah, whatever man! I'm bored now.." Nika smiled again. "Hey look they're handing out posters!" I said, as a group of girls started handing out rolls of chart in front of us. "Oh, we're finally starting!" said Tia, as she tried pinning on a red ribbon that she had been handed. Zaara sighed and said, "On the bright side, we'll back home two hours from now."
***********************
10:30 a.m. - We found ourselves still standing on the beach, sad faces in a row. We were holding up a poster each, dismally staring into the distance. At about 9, just as was expected, a rather strong downpour of rain hit us and we crouched under our umbrellas, which didn't really help us much. A few moments after the rain stopped, truckloads of men wearing yellow shirts started arriving at the beach to listen to some politician's rant. It was almost ironic considering that we were fighting against sexual harrassment after it started taking place right there. "So this is the thanks we get for fighting against sexual harrassment? A bunch of lecherous dodos ogling at us? That's too ironic for anyone's standards!" said Sanjana, her jaw looking a lot sharper than usual. "Well, it's over, man! Let's just go home now - I'm exhausted!" said Nika. Tia nodded in agreement and we made our way to the refreshment stands to find Cara.
CHAPTER 8
Look who's back after an age!!
*************************************************************************************
"So," said Zaara, as Sanjana and I approached the large group standing at the garden, "did you get negative hours?""We managed to talk her out of it." I said as I sat down. "We did get a warning though." Sanjana pointed out. I nodded slowly and then stared at thr ground in front of me. "Are we indulging in some remote form of gardening not yet known to most of mankind?" asked Sanjana, a puzzled look on her face. "Apparently..." Zaara trailed off as she watched me closely scrutinize a weed from five different angles out of sheer boredom, "no, really? What are you trying to do?" "She's trying to figure out how to pull the weed out fully without having to put in too much effort. You know? A clean break?" said Aditi, her dimple flashing. She looked at Sanjana and the two of them burst out into fits of hopeless giggles.
"Ha, ha, how very funny." I said in a very painful tone, "kill me! Kill me now!" I turned to my left to see Akriti pulling out weeds with a very bored look on her face. "Hey!" said Nika, quickly straightening up, "you know what we should do? We should grow weed and sell it at devastatingly high prices!" "Ooh, I like that!" Zaara grinned as she clapped her hands. "But why would anyone buy weed at 'devastatingly high prices'?" asked Akriti.
-"Because it's premium weed!!"
-"And how is it premium?"
-"Because we all voted and decided to add the word in front? Now let me get on with the story!"
I moved back to avoid her flailing arms. Everyone else nodded. "OK," said Nika, still gesticulating wildly, "imagine this - we'll start off small like growing weed in a pot and then selling it on a small scale in college, from whi.." "Do you seriously think that half the people in this place know what weed is, let alone becoming a regular customer?" asked Sanjana. "Stop butting in!! Besides I'm sure that there are loads of druggies here and we just don't know about them. Anyway," Nika continued, "so we start off small scale and slowly increase our production till we have, like, huge fields of marijuana!"
"And absolutely no one will notice that you've grown richer and own a few acres of fields filled with marijuana?" asked Sanjana, who was struggling with a particularly difficult weed. "Shut up, silly child! What are you going to name the company?" asked Zaara, nearly jumping with excitement. "I'm going to call it..." said Nika dramatically, "Nagalakshmi Weeds and Co.!" She looked back at us, grinning broadly only to be greeted by blank stares. A few moments later, we all burst into giggles. "Are you guys doing any gardening?" yelled a voice from behind us. "Yeah, yeah," I said, throwing my stick at a large ant, "What's the time?" Sanjana looked at her watch and said, "Dang! It's 1:40! We're late for HR!!" "Again?" I sighed, as I slowly straightened up, "Why does this happen to me? Why, I ask you, why..." "Oh, for God's sake, just shut up and leave!" Zaara said rather emphatically. I looked at her, my eyebrows raised andsaid, "Fine!" I was never any good at comebacks.
*************************************************************************************
"So," said Zaara, as Sanjana and I approached the large group standing at the garden, "did you get negative hours?""We managed to talk her out of it." I said as I sat down. "We did get a warning though." Sanjana pointed out. I nodded slowly and then stared at thr ground in front of me. "Are we indulging in some remote form of gardening not yet known to most of mankind?" asked Sanjana, a puzzled look on her face. "Apparently..." Zaara trailed off as she watched me closely scrutinize a weed from five different angles out of sheer boredom, "no, really? What are you trying to do?" "She's trying to figure out how to pull the weed out fully without having to put in too much effort. You know? A clean break?" said Aditi, her dimple flashing. She looked at Sanjana and the two of them burst out into fits of hopeless giggles.
"Ha, ha, how very funny." I said in a very painful tone, "kill me! Kill me now!" I turned to my left to see Akriti pulling out weeds with a very bored look on her face. "Hey!" said Nika, quickly straightening up, "you know what we should do? We should grow weed and sell it at devastatingly high prices!" "Ooh, I like that!" Zaara grinned as she clapped her hands. "But why would anyone buy weed at 'devastatingly high prices'?" asked Akriti.
-"Because it's premium weed!!"
-"And how is it premium?"
-"Because we all voted and decided to add the word in front? Now let me get on with the story!"
I moved back to avoid her flailing arms. Everyone else nodded. "OK," said Nika, still gesticulating wildly, "imagine this - we'll start off small like growing weed in a pot and then selling it on a small scale in college, from whi.." "Do you seriously think that half the people in this place know what weed is, let alone becoming a regular customer?" asked Sanjana. "Stop butting in!! Besides I'm sure that there are loads of druggies here and we just don't know about them. Anyway," Nika continued, "so we start off small scale and slowly increase our production till we have, like, huge fields of marijuana!"
"And absolutely no one will notice that you've grown richer and own a few acres of fields filled with marijuana?" asked Sanjana, who was struggling with a particularly difficult weed. "Shut up, silly child! What are you going to name the company?" asked Zaara, nearly jumping with excitement. "I'm going to call it..." said Nika dramatically, "Nagalakshmi Weeds and Co.!" She looked back at us, grinning broadly only to be greeted by blank stares. A few moments later, we all burst into giggles. "Are you guys doing any gardening?" yelled a voice from behind us. "Yeah, yeah," I said, throwing my stick at a large ant, "What's the time?" Sanjana looked at her watch and said, "Dang! It's 1:40! We're late for HR!!" "Again?" I sighed, as I slowly straightened up, "Why does this happen to me? Why, I ask you, why..." "Oh, for God's sake, just shut up and leave!" Zaara said rather emphatically. I looked at her, my eyebrows raised andsaid, "Fine!" I was never any good at comebacks.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Hmmm... Valentine's Day??
More than a month ago, I found myself staring at an advertisement in a newspaper. The bold pink letters announced the arrival of the greatest day in human history. I scoffed and turned the page. Don’t take me wrong because I wasn’t ridiculing something like Martyr’s Day or Republic Day and they deserve more attention and publicity than they get. The day being advertised in the newspaper, however, is the most hyped and perhaps, the most depressing day ever invented in the course of human history - Valentine’s Day.
I am pretty sure that the 14th of February was not as commercial or saccharine as it is today. The tradition of celebrating this day started in ancient Rome. The 14th of February was marked as a holiday to honour Juno, the queen of Roman gods and goddesses. She was also known to the Romans as the goddess of women and marriage. The Feast Of Lupercalia was held the following day, the 15th of February.
One version says that St. Valentine was a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on the 14th of February, 269 A.D., the same day marked for love lotteries. Another version says that during the reign of Emperor Claudius, the Roman Army was rather small and finding new recruits was difficult. The Emperor believed that the reason for the low number was that the men did not want to leave their wives and families. In a rather cruel move, he cancelled all marriages and engagements. St. Valentine, a Roman priest and St. Marius helped Christian martyrs and also got couples married secretly. When they were found out, the Prefect of Rome condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and have his head cut off.
Perhaps, it is for the best that St. Valentine is not alive today to see what his brainchild has morphed into - a commercialized monster growing from the profits that it makes every year. I was walking past a previously lonely stationery shop in my neighbourhood and was stunned to see that every corner was crammed with sickeningly sweet red and pink balloons. The shop, that was almost completely obscure over two months ago, was filled with mushy couples giggling over the merchandise.
Today you can’t walk down the road without being harassed by huge boards stating that you need love in your dismal, lonely life. Now, if you interpret it correctly, what they are really saying is that they need more money to publicise themselves and therefore, we need to help them by falling in love and indulging in some serious shopping on V - day! So, along with the pressure to become a doctor or an engineer and get married, we are now pressurized to fall in love.
On top of that, our inboxes are now flooded with emails demanding to know whether you “have found the right man” or whether you are “really in love”. Special programs aired on the television interview celebrity couples on Valentine’s Day asking them how they fell in love and how they keep the “magic” alive. The worst part, however, is that in certain parts of the city, you cannot wear certain colours on “the day” and expect to survive on the roads. You are usually mistaken for a lovelorn girl searching for the right guy. No doubt if I wear a colour that says I’m available, it is my fault but then again, after the basic shades, you pretty much run out of colours!
Along with this comes a new warped definition of love. “Love is blind”, “love has no reason” are thrown in your face when you give rather logical reasons for not having a boyfriend. However, the love that we connect to Valentine’s Day is as false as it can get. As Maurice Chevalier once said, “Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.” While I personally have nothing against the idea of love, there are a few aspects I disagree with. However, the one thing that I appreciate about the modern idea of love is that it’s more sensible than it used to be. While critics may say that true love has taken a step back by depending on the size of someone’s wallet, I think common sense has grown by leaps and bounds. It is definitely better than falling for a pauper and regretting it for the rest of your life.
Coming back to our topic at hand, a friend once told me, “I don’t understand why Valentine’s Day is meant only for the couples. Shouldn’t it be a day when you get to spend time with your loved ones? Valentine’s Day is now seen as a day when men go broke as they rush to buy flowers and gifts for their girlfriends. Frankly, it’s of no use because by the next Valentine’s Day, they’re doing the same thing for someone else.
I can’t say that Valentine’s Day passes without affecting anyone, even the toughest at heart. Everyone, in a way, celebrates it whether they like it or criticise its existence to no end. There are two ways in which different people celebrate V-day. The first way is very common - to go out with your partner and celebrate the day with flowers, gifts, the works. The second method is to sit in front of the telly all day, watching romantic comedies and guzzling down bar after bar of dark chocolate. No prizes for guessing what I did this Valentine’s Day!!
I am pretty sure that the 14th of February was not as commercial or saccharine as it is today. The tradition of celebrating this day started in ancient Rome. The 14th of February was marked as a holiday to honour Juno, the queen of Roman gods and goddesses. She was also known to the Romans as the goddess of women and marriage. The Feast Of Lupercalia was held the following day, the 15th of February.
One version says that St. Valentine was a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on the 14th of February, 269 A.D., the same day marked for love lotteries. Another version says that during the reign of Emperor Claudius, the Roman Army was rather small and finding new recruits was difficult. The Emperor believed that the reason for the low number was that the men did not want to leave their wives and families. In a rather cruel move, he cancelled all marriages and engagements. St. Valentine, a Roman priest and St. Marius helped Christian martyrs and also got couples married secretly. When they were found out, the Prefect of Rome condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and have his head cut off.
Perhaps, it is for the best that St. Valentine is not alive today to see what his brainchild has morphed into - a commercialized monster growing from the profits that it makes every year. I was walking past a previously lonely stationery shop in my neighbourhood and was stunned to see that every corner was crammed with sickeningly sweet red and pink balloons. The shop, that was almost completely obscure over two months ago, was filled with mushy couples giggling over the merchandise.
Today you can’t walk down the road without being harassed by huge boards stating that you need love in your dismal, lonely life. Now, if you interpret it correctly, what they are really saying is that they need more money to publicise themselves and therefore, we need to help them by falling in love and indulging in some serious shopping on V - day! So, along with the pressure to become a doctor or an engineer and get married, we are now pressurized to fall in love.
On top of that, our inboxes are now flooded with emails demanding to know whether you “have found the right man” or whether you are “really in love”. Special programs aired on the television interview celebrity couples on Valentine’s Day asking them how they fell in love and how they keep the “magic” alive. The worst part, however, is that in certain parts of the city, you cannot wear certain colours on “the day” and expect to survive on the roads. You are usually mistaken for a lovelorn girl searching for the right guy. No doubt if I wear a colour that says I’m available, it is my fault but then again, after the basic shades, you pretty much run out of colours!
Along with this comes a new warped definition of love. “Love is blind”, “love has no reason” are thrown in your face when you give rather logical reasons for not having a boyfriend. However, the love that we connect to Valentine’s Day is as false as it can get. As Maurice Chevalier once said, “Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.” While I personally have nothing against the idea of love, there are a few aspects I disagree with. However, the one thing that I appreciate about the modern idea of love is that it’s more sensible than it used to be. While critics may say that true love has taken a step back by depending on the size of someone’s wallet, I think common sense has grown by leaps and bounds. It is definitely better than falling for a pauper and regretting it for the rest of your life.
Coming back to our topic at hand, a friend once told me, “I don’t understand why Valentine’s Day is meant only for the couples. Shouldn’t it be a day when you get to spend time with your loved ones? Valentine’s Day is now seen as a day when men go broke as they rush to buy flowers and gifts for their girlfriends. Frankly, it’s of no use because by the next Valentine’s Day, they’re doing the same thing for someone else.
I can’t say that Valentine’s Day passes without affecting anyone, even the toughest at heart. Everyone, in a way, celebrates it whether they like it or criticise its existence to no end. There are two ways in which different people celebrate V-day. The first way is very common - to go out with your partner and celebrate the day with flowers, gifts, the works. The second method is to sit in front of the telly all day, watching romantic comedies and guzzling down bar after bar of dark chocolate. No prizes for guessing what I did this Valentine’s Day!!
CHAPTER 7
DISCLAIMER - This incident is based loosely on a true incident and may have been exaggerated a little and the author would like to say to the people involved - "Hey, no hard feelings, please?" because she treasures her rear and would like her face to stay in decent shape.
********************************
The lecture came to an end abruptly as the bell rang out shrilly. Petunia's face seemed radiant and you could almost see a small smile forming. The same could not be said for the rest of the class. As luck would have it, I was not the only one who had been dissed. Nika who was valiantly trying to voice her opinions was told that she was wrong and that she had better sit down.
People stood up around me, getting ready to leave college for the day. I remained glued to my seat in shock. I had just lived through a feminist lecture - I never thought that I would make it through half the lecture! Of course I'd gotten jacked in the middle but I'd still survived to tell the tale. "Rhea?" came a blurry voice, interrupting my thoughts. "Huh?" I said groggily, as I slowly came to. Sanjana was standing next to me, a broad grin on her face. "If you rub it in, I will beat you up. Wipe that stupid smile off your face!"
- "I'm not saying anything.."
-"Well, your face says it all!"
- "Not my fault that I have an extremely expressive face and large eyes.."
-"I'm serious about beating you up."
"OK, OK," said Sanjana, "we have a GB to get to now. So hurry up." I groaned and covered my face.
A GB, for those who don't know, is a general body meeting. They were probably designed for a purpose at first but now we just got yelled at a lot in GBs for either not doing our work or behaving badly. Now and then, A GB would be called to tell us what activities are coming up and very rarely, GBs were called to congratulate us for our decent behaviour.
We shuffled out of class slowly, not very eager to get to the meeting area where a large number of girls had already assembled and were gossiping away to their heart's delight. Cara, Rashmi and Preethi, three of the Rotaract officials stood in front of them. A visibly frustrated Cara was talking to Rashmi every few minutes while Preethi was her perky old self, hopping around as she listened in on the conversation.
Sanjana and I walked up and pushed people around a little so that we could sit down in a place with atleast a little shade. Most of it had been taken up but this is why you run to a person whom you know and then sit down next to them. "Alright people, settle down. We're going to start now - please be quiet," said Cara, her usually calm voice tinged with a hint of impatience. Next to her poised, calm nature, I always felt like a clumsy oaf who couldn't pronounce words like "trepidation" or "serendipity" without messing it up.
There had been one incident when I was getting a drop home. Cara had offered to drive me back along with Rashmi. She and Rashmi were discussing their jobs in Rotaract and some other organisation. I sank into the backseat as far as I could go, peeking out of the window only once to drool at Kunal Kapoor's posters.
Cara opened her book and started dictationg a list of activities and events that would take place in the course of the month. Most of the crowd continued chattering while a few industrious people (including yours truly) took down the dates. I have been teased and ragged about it but at the month I'm the one considered the saviour so I really don't care! "And now," said Rashmi as she closed her book with an air of finality, " we've noticed that many of you register for the events but do not turn up for any of them. So we've decided to subtract hours from your total hours if you continue to do so."
A section of the crowd fell silent. "This means," continued Rashmi, "that if you sign up for an event and do not turn up for it, we will remove the hours that you would have gotten from it from your total hours." "Brilliant, just brilliant!" muttered Sanjana. Most of the crowd had fallen silent now. As Cara and Rashmi took turns reproaching the entire crowd for their lack of sense of duty and disobedience, I stared down at my book, watching the lines and letters form swirls of dust that vaguely resembled Captain Jack Sparrow doing the salsa with Tom (from Tom and Jerry, in case you didn't know) "Oh dear!" said Sanjana, as the meeting ended. "Hmmm?" I said watching as Tom morphed into the Kraken and devoured him.
-"What are we going to do?"
-"What are we going to do about what?"
-"Were you even listening to her?"
-"Not really, I was watching Captain Jack..."
-"You freak, we bunked the rally!!"
-"Oh, oh that! Crap! What do we do?"
-"We have to talk to them so..."
Sanjana gestured at me, trying to make me get up. I stood up and the two of us shot off towards the science block, with many pairs of amused eyes on us.
********************************
The lecture came to an end abruptly as the bell rang out shrilly. Petunia's face seemed radiant and you could almost see a small smile forming. The same could not be said for the rest of the class. As luck would have it, I was not the only one who had been dissed. Nika who was valiantly trying to voice her opinions was told that she was wrong and that she had better sit down.
People stood up around me, getting ready to leave college for the day. I remained glued to my seat in shock. I had just lived through a feminist lecture - I never thought that I would make it through half the lecture! Of course I'd gotten jacked in the middle but I'd still survived to tell the tale. "Rhea?" came a blurry voice, interrupting my thoughts. "Huh?" I said groggily, as I slowly came to. Sanjana was standing next to me, a broad grin on her face. "If you rub it in, I will beat you up. Wipe that stupid smile off your face!"
- "I'm not saying anything.."
-"Well, your face says it all!"
- "Not my fault that I have an extremely expressive face and large eyes.."
-"I'm serious about beating you up."
"OK, OK," said Sanjana, "we have a GB to get to now. So hurry up." I groaned and covered my face.
A GB, for those who don't know, is a general body meeting. They were probably designed for a purpose at first but now we just got yelled at a lot in GBs for either not doing our work or behaving badly. Now and then, A GB would be called to tell us what activities are coming up and very rarely, GBs were called to congratulate us for our decent behaviour.
We shuffled out of class slowly, not very eager to get to the meeting area where a large number of girls had already assembled and were gossiping away to their heart's delight. Cara, Rashmi and Preethi, three of the Rotaract officials stood in front of them. A visibly frustrated Cara was talking to Rashmi every few minutes while Preethi was her perky old self, hopping around as she listened in on the conversation.
Sanjana and I walked up and pushed people around a little so that we could sit down in a place with atleast a little shade. Most of it had been taken up but this is why you run to a person whom you know and then sit down next to them. "Alright people, settle down. We're going to start now - please be quiet," said Cara, her usually calm voice tinged with a hint of impatience. Next to her poised, calm nature, I always felt like a clumsy oaf who couldn't pronounce words like "trepidation" or "serendipity" without messing it up.
There had been one incident when I was getting a drop home. Cara had offered to drive me back along with Rashmi. She and Rashmi were discussing their jobs in Rotaract and some other organisation. I sank into the backseat as far as I could go, peeking out of the window only once to drool at Kunal Kapoor's posters.
Cara opened her book and started dictationg a list of activities and events that would take place in the course of the month. Most of the crowd continued chattering while a few industrious people (including yours truly) took down the dates. I have been teased and ragged about it but at the month I'm the one considered the saviour so I really don't care! "And now," said Rashmi as she closed her book with an air of finality, " we've noticed that many of you register for the events but do not turn up for any of them. So we've decided to subtract hours from your total hours if you continue to do so."
A section of the crowd fell silent. "This means," continued Rashmi, "that if you sign up for an event and do not turn up for it, we will remove the hours that you would have gotten from it from your total hours." "Brilliant, just brilliant!" muttered Sanjana. Most of the crowd had fallen silent now. As Cara and Rashmi took turns reproaching the entire crowd for their lack of sense of duty and disobedience, I stared down at my book, watching the lines and letters form swirls of dust that vaguely resembled Captain Jack Sparrow doing the salsa with Tom (from Tom and Jerry, in case you didn't know) "Oh dear!" said Sanjana, as the meeting ended. "Hmmm?" I said watching as Tom morphed into the Kraken and devoured him.
-"What are we going to do?"
-"What are we going to do about what?"
-"Were you even listening to her?"
-"Not really, I was watching Captain Jack..."
-"You freak, we bunked the rally!!"
-"Oh, oh that! Crap! What do we do?"
-"We have to talk to them so..."
Sanjana gestured at me, trying to make me get up. I stood up and the two of us shot off towards the science block, with many pairs of amused eyes on us.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
CHAPTER 6
"Doo doo doo doo-ooh... Jump on it, jump on it..." I hummed as I waited for the rest of the gang to turn up at English class. A few months of English class had taught me only two things :
No. 1 - Petunia's real love was Kenneth Anderson and therefore, the supernatural.
No. 2 - Her opinions were ALWAYS right, if you have a different one, then you're wrong.
And so we put up with her - such torture...
There were a couple of extremely frustrating incidents though. One time, we were discussing the answers to a comprehension and someone came up with an answer that actually meant the same thing as the word in question. But would she give in? You wish!! She stuck staunchly to her answer, a scarily ravenous look in her eyes. In one class, she was holding a discussion on her favourite subject, the supernatural. She, surprisingly, allowed Sania to put forward an anecdote. When she finished, Petunia stared at her with an indifferent look on her face for a few moments and then said, "Well.. coming back to what I was saying..." Yes, we have given up on her.
And then, there were times when she would stroll in with a large black book that had "Kenneth Anderson - Volume 1" written on it in block letters, tucked safely under her arm. I still haven't figured out whether I was happy that she was not taking class or just plain angry that people were still printing that book!! Sanjana and I, of course, would come up with devious plans to thwart her evil designs - most of them consisted of burning the Kenneth Anderson books that she owned and sending her a note that said, "Ha ha HA!! In your face!!" But we had come up with delightful variations.
So, as I tried to keep myself occupied and keep my mind off my impending doom, I suddenly heard two voices talking about chocolate. Where I come from, only two people can hold a conversation about chocolate and make it look like they're debating on a an issue that can affect the world's future(if you don't try to hear what they're saying that is..) - Nika and Maya. They always reminded me of Fester and Cousin It from the Addam's Family - completely crazy and phenomenally weird. And also Maya looked like she was going to blow up in every photo of her.
Nika fell into the seat next to me and greeted me cheerfully. Maya followed suit and the two of them were back in their world of chocolate again. Sanjana walked sprightly down the aisle and sat on my right. "You look happy today. What's up?" I said, a little taken aback at the broad grin on her face that seemed to be growing with every minute. "We got our French papers," she said excitedly, "and I got 35 on 40!!!" "Yay..." I said distractedly. Petunia Casper had just walked in.
"Hey folks!" she said, as she dropped her register onto the table. An uneasy silece fell upon the class and a few cringed (including yours truly). Petunia looked around, a bright smile plastered on her face. She seemed blisfully ignorant of the unease. "So," she said, crossing her hands, "shall we start the listening comprehension today?" A chorus of groans rose from the class. Petunia gave us a raised eyebrow look and smugly said, "It's either that or a feminist perspective lecture." The response from the class was something of a shock for me.
Fervent nods and loud yeah's could be heard from almost every corner of the class. Petunia looked around, the shock evident on her face, too. "Well...um.. if that's what.. uh.. you want, alright," she stuttered. After a moment's hesitation, she turned towards the blackboard. "Psst.." I turned to my side. Nika leaned towards me and whispered, "I think she's still in shock!" I grinned at her.
Petunia turned around again. Her face seemed calmer now. Placing her hands on the back of her chair, she looked up and said, "Well, let's start then. Now, tell me, what is your idea of beauty?" A few phrases like "beautiful eyes" and "luscious hair" rose from the class. Not willing to be outdone, I raised my hand and smugly said, "Brains!" "No, no!" said Petunia, indignantly, "I'm sure that's not your idea of beauty!!" My mouth dropped open and all that came out was a confused "Eh?". I turned to Nika and asked, "She's kidding me, right?"Maya discretely covered her mouth to muffle her laughter. Sanjana seemed to have collapsed into fits of laughter while Nika, who was surprisingly calm, kept pointing out faults in Petunia's arguments. Me? I couldn't remember the rest of the lecture - I was still in shock!
No. 1 - Petunia's real love was Kenneth Anderson and therefore, the supernatural.
No. 2 - Her opinions were ALWAYS right, if you have a different one, then you're wrong.
And so we put up with her - such torture...
There were a couple of extremely frustrating incidents though. One time, we were discussing the answers to a comprehension and someone came up with an answer that actually meant the same thing as the word in question. But would she give in? You wish!! She stuck staunchly to her answer, a scarily ravenous look in her eyes. In one class, she was holding a discussion on her favourite subject, the supernatural. She, surprisingly, allowed Sania to put forward an anecdote. When she finished, Petunia stared at her with an indifferent look on her face for a few moments and then said, "Well.. coming back to what I was saying..." Yes, we have given up on her.
And then, there were times when she would stroll in with a large black book that had "Kenneth Anderson - Volume 1" written on it in block letters, tucked safely under her arm. I still haven't figured out whether I was happy that she was not taking class or just plain angry that people were still printing that book!! Sanjana and I, of course, would come up with devious plans to thwart her evil designs - most of them consisted of burning the Kenneth Anderson books that she owned and sending her a note that said, "Ha ha HA!! In your face!!" But we had come up with delightful variations.
So, as I tried to keep myself occupied and keep my mind off my impending doom, I suddenly heard two voices talking about chocolate. Where I come from, only two people can hold a conversation about chocolate and make it look like they're debating on a an issue that can affect the world's future(if you don't try to hear what they're saying that is..) - Nika and Maya. They always reminded me of Fester and Cousin It from the Addam's Family - completely crazy and phenomenally weird. And also Maya looked like she was going to blow up in every photo of her.
Nika fell into the seat next to me and greeted me cheerfully. Maya followed suit and the two of them were back in their world of chocolate again. Sanjana walked sprightly down the aisle and sat on my right. "You look happy today. What's up?" I said, a little taken aback at the broad grin on her face that seemed to be growing with every minute. "We got our French papers," she said excitedly, "and I got 35 on 40!!!" "Yay..." I said distractedly. Petunia Casper had just walked in.
"Hey folks!" she said, as she dropped her register onto the table. An uneasy silece fell upon the class and a few cringed (including yours truly). Petunia looked around, a bright smile plastered on her face. She seemed blisfully ignorant of the unease. "So," she said, crossing her hands, "shall we start the listening comprehension today?" A chorus of groans rose from the class. Petunia gave us a raised eyebrow look and smugly said, "It's either that or a feminist perspective lecture." The response from the class was something of a shock for me.
Fervent nods and loud yeah's could be heard from almost every corner of the class. Petunia looked around, the shock evident on her face, too. "Well...um.. if that's what.. uh.. you want, alright," she stuttered. After a moment's hesitation, she turned towards the blackboard. "Psst.." I turned to my side. Nika leaned towards me and whispered, "I think she's still in shock!" I grinned at her.
Petunia turned around again. Her face seemed calmer now. Placing her hands on the back of her chair, she looked up and said, "Well, let's start then. Now, tell me, what is your idea of beauty?" A few phrases like "beautiful eyes" and "luscious hair" rose from the class. Not willing to be outdone, I raised my hand and smugly said, "Brains!" "No, no!" said Petunia, indignantly, "I'm sure that's not your idea of beauty!!" My mouth dropped open and all that came out was a confused "Eh?". I turned to Nika and asked, "She's kidding me, right?"Maya discretely covered her mouth to muffle her laughter. Sanjana seemed to have collapsed into fits of laughter while Nika, who was surprisingly calm, kept pointing out faults in Petunia's arguments. Me? I couldn't remember the rest of the lecture - I was still in shock!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
CHAPTER 5
"Gawd!! I'm so dead, man! I can't remember crap of what I learnt!!" moaned Sania, as she pored over her photocopy of my Hindi notes. "I think I have dyslexia..." I trailed off, as I watched the letters on my paper jumping around, dancing to "The Way I Are". "Yeah, right!" she scoffed, "Rhea, you've probably finished studying the portions twice and doing your third revision now." "Hey!" I said indignantly, "I can't remember anything either!" Sania gave me a very skeptical look and I decided that it would be wise to shut my mouth before I got verbally abused.
Manisha was sitting next to us, watching the drama unfold with a saintly smile on her face. She was probably the only girl in class who was extremely feminine and well-behaved. Even the smallest, slightest sarcastic remark could scandalise her and she would cover her mouth with her hand, a shocked look on her face. Everytime she spotted one of us, she'd greet us with a cheery and polite "Good morning!".
I turned to Manisha and asked her, "Tell me, you saw the way she corrected our papers the last time. And to top it off, I haven't studied much. And another undeniable fact - this is HINDI!! Fate loves watching me suffer when it comes to this. It's not possible for me to do well!" Manisha pondered over the matter for a while before she replied, "No, Rhea, I'm quite sure you'll do well. You always say this before a test. You'll probably do better than the rest of us." I stared back in shock at the sincere face with the same smile I had noticed a few moments ago. Rolling my eyes, I said, "Brilliant! The whole world is against me! NO ONE believes me!"
"Rhe-a, stop being so... melodramatic." said Sania. I glared menacingly at her. The first long test had always been a source of discomfort for everyone. You never knew whether your new teacher was the kind who loved seeing people have panic attacks on receiving the question paper or their corrected answer paper for that matter. On the bright side, it is a lot less dangerous than having a stroke during the first semester exams.
As we grimly filed into our classroom, the widely spread chairs giving it an ominous look, I chose the seat that seemed the furthest away from Sania's. During the first ever long test that we took in Hindi, we had copied from each other and our old teacher had found us out. She made us sit in two different corners for that test and all the others that followed them. Even though this teacher was new, she seemed rather intimidating and I thought it would be best to sit as far away from Sania as I could, in case the temptation to peek into her paper rose again.
An extremely boring 1 and a half hours later, filled with strenuous writing tasks and a lot of guesswork on my part, we emerged from the classroom with relieved looks on our faces. Janet, my classmate, looked at the expression on my face and said, "What, madam? Did brilliantly, huh?" "Well, I'll pass quite decently if that's what you mean..." I said, smiling sheepishly. Janet burst into a fit of exaggerated coughs and I gave her my best raised eyebrow look. It did not work.
All of us wandered around college aimlessly for a while till we finally settled down at the benches near our block where all our classmates were sitting. I was surprised to see everyone with a book in their hand, either reading it religiously or looking to the skies as they repeated some extremely complicated definition. Truth be told, this was a very rare event but since no one took the H.O.D. lightly, it was something to be expected.
Maths had never been my forte so I walked out of the room with the most dismal expression on my face. Refusing to talk to anyone, I walked rapidly to the canteen and ordered a Sprite, looking like someone who had lost all hope in the world. I downed it in less than 20 seconds. Sanjana kept a close check on me as a dazed look kept coming and going on my face. She told me that worse things could happen and that I could probably have lost an arm or a leg. "She probably will when the H.O.D. is through with her!" said a quirky Aditi. I sighed - they have a knack for doing this.
Manisha was sitting next to us, watching the drama unfold with a saintly smile on her face. She was probably the only girl in class who was extremely feminine and well-behaved. Even the smallest, slightest sarcastic remark could scandalise her and she would cover her mouth with her hand, a shocked look on her face. Everytime she spotted one of us, she'd greet us with a cheery and polite "Good morning!".
I turned to Manisha and asked her, "Tell me, you saw the way she corrected our papers the last time. And to top it off, I haven't studied much. And another undeniable fact - this is HINDI!! Fate loves watching me suffer when it comes to this. It's not possible for me to do well!" Manisha pondered over the matter for a while before she replied, "No, Rhea, I'm quite sure you'll do well. You always say this before a test. You'll probably do better than the rest of us." I stared back in shock at the sincere face with the same smile I had noticed a few moments ago. Rolling my eyes, I said, "Brilliant! The whole world is against me! NO ONE believes me!"
"Rhe-a, stop being so... melodramatic." said Sania. I glared menacingly at her. The first long test had always been a source of discomfort for everyone. You never knew whether your new teacher was the kind who loved seeing people have panic attacks on receiving the question paper or their corrected answer paper for that matter. On the bright side, it is a lot less dangerous than having a stroke during the first semester exams.
As we grimly filed into our classroom, the widely spread chairs giving it an ominous look, I chose the seat that seemed the furthest away from Sania's. During the first ever long test that we took in Hindi, we had copied from each other and our old teacher had found us out. She made us sit in two different corners for that test and all the others that followed them. Even though this teacher was new, she seemed rather intimidating and I thought it would be best to sit as far away from Sania as I could, in case the temptation to peek into her paper rose again.
An extremely boring 1 and a half hours later, filled with strenuous writing tasks and a lot of guesswork on my part, we emerged from the classroom with relieved looks on our faces. Janet, my classmate, looked at the expression on my face and said, "What, madam? Did brilliantly, huh?" "Well, I'll pass quite decently if that's what you mean..." I said, smiling sheepishly. Janet burst into a fit of exaggerated coughs and I gave her my best raised eyebrow look. It did not work.
All of us wandered around college aimlessly for a while till we finally settled down at the benches near our block where all our classmates were sitting. I was surprised to see everyone with a book in their hand, either reading it religiously or looking to the skies as they repeated some extremely complicated definition. Truth be told, this was a very rare event but since no one took the H.O.D. lightly, it was something to be expected.
Maths had never been my forte so I walked out of the room with the most dismal expression on my face. Refusing to talk to anyone, I walked rapidly to the canteen and ordered a Sprite, looking like someone who had lost all hope in the world. I downed it in less than 20 seconds. Sanjana kept a close check on me as a dazed look kept coming and going on my face. She told me that worse things could happen and that I could probably have lost an arm or a leg. "She probably will when the H.O.D. is through with her!" said a quirky Aditi. I sighed - they have a knack for doing this.
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