Friday, December 25, 2009
Train rides and self-help books
The train ride to Bangalore was absolutely dismal. I found myself watching "You've Got Mail", after realizing that we had a good four hours to reach our destination. It came as a rude shock to me when the movie got cut halfway and jumped to Timbaland's video of "The Way I Are". As much as I like the song, the sudden jump from a rom-com to a music video with Timbaland's face staring back at you is not very digestible. People around me were either busy reading or making small talk with their neighbours. Children were running up and down the aisle wildly, screaming in excitement. Ah! If only I were that small and was able to understand what on earth they found so delightful so I could take part in it and atleast pass the time. As far as my neighbours (most of whom were my family) were concerned, the man in front of me was absorbed in a self-help book. It's title screamed out "You Can Win!" and the reader seemed absorbed. I almost felt like tapping his book and telling him that I had learned the hard way that no matter how many self-help books you read, you will never win that debate competition in front of the entire college. Or cook that delicious chocolate cake that looks flawless on the cover of a self-help book for cooking - that's all just Photoshop. Of course, he looked older and much larger than me so I decided against it. The men in the row across the aisle were discussing rises and falls in the stock market and how the highway system was not being worked on very well. In the midst of this intelligent discussion, one of them cracked a very lame, "punny" joke (as a friend would put it) and the two collapsed into fits of dignified laughter. I lost interest in them at exactly that moment. For the next three and a half hours, I watched the trees flit by, in a hurry to get nowhere and stopped the bread-and-omelette man every time he passed me in order to buy a plate. My sister did the same for the vegetable cutlet man. And some advice for those of you who wish to travel by train to a place that is ages away - make sure your movies do not get cut in the middle and do not book seats in the new, improved Lalbagh. All they do is give you a very bad back-ache.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Random
It's a few months after my last post. I can safely say that I have had writer's block and the only reason for that is that I haven't been depressed for the past few months. Good for my health, bad for my sanity... This is probably one of the few redeeming qualities I have and to think that my mood swings determine when I write well is a thought that completely puts me off. So much for becoming the next Goethe... or Poe... or anyone for that matter. However, staring at my blank notebook page without so much of a spark lighting up somewhere in my brain has taken its toll. I have an unused notebook, calling to me in desperation before the stench of mothballs consumes its innate scent and a blog that will probably cease to exist in the minds of the same people it had earlier delighted. "No!" I thought to myself, "I must not let this happen!! I have a responsibility towards this blog! This blog - " pointing to the computer screen, " - is nothing less than a human soul!"
And so I sat at my computer table, drumming away (not at the keyboard) wondering what I could possibly write that could interest the few but happy souls reading this. And I thought... And thought... And thought... By the end of an extremely disturbing movie, I still had nothing to go on. It is only at these turning points that you realize that there's a spot on the computer screen that you've forgotten to clean or that your left ear seems slightly larger than your right.. or not. So I figured that maybe one of my previous articles or poems could inspire me to write something new - or I could just put one of them here and tell you all, "Yes it is new! Why thank you! How nice of you to say so!" I'm evil and conniving but I just don't have the capacity to make decisions like this. Too many choices!!!!
If you're wondering, I did consult my previous articles and I realized that everything I had written about was myself. I know what's running through your head. You're probably thinking, "My! That self-centred girl! Doesn't she know that people are going through worse pain?" I thought that too. It's a very bad thought to hit you when you're right in the middle of an interesting article because then you begin to wonder, "Should I write about something else?" So I pondered over the question, which is an extremely overwhelming and exhausting task. I had to eat a few cookies to make it through. Should I write about something philosophical, like one of those blogs that you stumble upon, something that would make you question the very fibre of your being? Or something important, like a political decision or a natural calamity?
The flaws in both these ideas were probably the most obvious. Idea no. 1 had a very simple flaw - questioning the fibre of anyone's being tends to come back and bite me in the arse (I was going to say ass but this way it just sounds so much more prim and proper. If you look closely, you can see the smug grin on my face for being so smart.) Idea no. 2 has a very obvious flaw - My knowledge about political decisions falls somewhere in the negative side of the number line. The last time someone spoke to me about the N-deal, I spaced out and landed up in a different time zone altogether.
So that effectively ruled out the only two choices I had come up with. I also realized something else. Writing is not my only talent. Don't get too happy - I'm still depressed (If only depression were a superpower...) The next thing I'm good at is coming up with opinions that, if you look closely, coincides with common opinion BUT I'm one of the few who can write an entire article about it and then put it on a blog for a lucky few to see. And then feel like I've finally done something worthwhile. The things I do... So I'm back to square 1. I figure that writing my opinion is a fun thing for me to do but I'm not quite sure if it's a fun thing for others to read. So if anyone, anyone at all, comes up with an idea that you think that I could possibly put to use, please email me. or broadcast this message into space and see if someone replies. You never know - they might find this more interesting than the numerous speeches that have been sent out. They're not going to make contact if they keep falling asleep. As for the ones who don't have a topic in mind but would like to express themselves - you're welcome to comment. I shall take all - the good, the bad and the ugly.
Till a more depressing time...
And so I sat at my computer table, drumming away (not at the keyboard) wondering what I could possibly write that could interest the few but happy souls reading this. And I thought... And thought... And thought... By the end of an extremely disturbing movie, I still had nothing to go on. It is only at these turning points that you realize that there's a spot on the computer screen that you've forgotten to clean or that your left ear seems slightly larger than your right.. or not. So I figured that maybe one of my previous articles or poems could inspire me to write something new - or I could just put one of them here and tell you all, "Yes it is new! Why thank you! How nice of you to say so!" I'm evil and conniving but I just don't have the capacity to make decisions like this. Too many choices!!!!
If you're wondering, I did consult my previous articles and I realized that everything I had written about was myself. I know what's running through your head. You're probably thinking, "My! That self-centred girl! Doesn't she know that people are going through worse pain?" I thought that too. It's a very bad thought to hit you when you're right in the middle of an interesting article because then you begin to wonder, "Should I write about something else?" So I pondered over the question, which is an extremely overwhelming and exhausting task. I had to eat a few cookies to make it through. Should I write about something philosophical, like one of those blogs that you stumble upon, something that would make you question the very fibre of your being? Or something important, like a political decision or a natural calamity?
The flaws in both these ideas were probably the most obvious. Idea no. 1 had a very simple flaw - questioning the fibre of anyone's being tends to come back and bite me in the arse (I was going to say ass but this way it just sounds so much more prim and proper. If you look closely, you can see the smug grin on my face for being so smart.) Idea no. 2 has a very obvious flaw - My knowledge about political decisions falls somewhere in the negative side of the number line. The last time someone spoke to me about the N-deal, I spaced out and landed up in a different time zone altogether.
So that effectively ruled out the only two choices I had come up with. I also realized something else. Writing is not my only talent. Don't get too happy - I'm still depressed (If only depression were a superpower...) The next thing I'm good at is coming up with opinions that, if you look closely, coincides with common opinion BUT I'm one of the few who can write an entire article about it and then put it on a blog for a lucky few to see. And then feel like I've finally done something worthwhile. The things I do... So I'm back to square 1. I figure that writing my opinion is a fun thing for me to do but I'm not quite sure if it's a fun thing for others to read. So if anyone, anyone at all, comes up with an idea that you think that I could possibly put to use, please email me. or broadcast this message into space and see if someone replies. You never know - they might find this more interesting than the numerous speeches that have been sent out. They're not going to make contact if they keep falling asleep. As for the ones who don't have a topic in mind but would like to express themselves - you're welcome to comment. I shall take all - the good, the bad and the ugly.
Till a more depressing time...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
CHAPTER 10
As our first ECA (end of semester exam for those who are not in the know :D), we rapidly transformed into a bunch of disoriented maniacs, spewing random facts from our textbooks at completely irrelevant times. While Sanjana stepped with ease into her "I'm-studying-and-I-will-not-socialize" shoes, I realised that if I didn't keep in touch with anyone, I would probably end up failing every single exam.
Every morning, I would wake up at 9:30 a.m. and settle down at the dining table with the newspaper in my hands. At 10:00 a.m., I would sit in front of the television and watch Hindi songs (it was the only way to calm myself down). At 11:00 a.m., I would sit at my desk, religiously poring over my portions. After lunch, at around 3:00 p.m., I would pick up the phone and start calling everyone I knew. Here's a typical conversation between any two people whom I've mentioned in the last few chapters: -
A - Hey!
B - Hey!
A - So... how's the studying going?
B - Um.. Don't really know.. Nothing's going into my head.
A - Ah!
B - What about you?
A - Oh, the same, the same...
B - Hmmm... Hey! Did you watch yesterday's 9 'o' clock movie on Star movies?
A - I did!! It was hilarious!!
B - Especially that bit where they...
And so on and so forth...
And in the midst of all this madness, more whackiness came in the form of voice messages. For those of you who don't remember, the ad campaign featured Saif Ali Khan and Shahrukh Khan with the former practicing how to tell his love that he missed her, on the latter. A few days before my Developmental Psychology paper, I was sitting on the sofa and racking my head for a reason to start studying when I received a call from Aditi. I picked up the call and was about to say "Hey!" when with much aplomb, Aditi said, "I miss you so much it huuuurts!! Isn't this cool?" she continued before I could suspect a difference in her sexual orientation, "Send me some alright?" Before I could properly understand the situation, I found myself calling up random people and sending them even more random voice messages.
Finally, the day before the fateful exam, I felt a deep urge to bang my head against a wall and I finally decided that it was time to start studying. After cramming in as much as I could, I set off confidently for my exam only to be handed a paper that looked like it was written in a different language. I felt like I was a part of one of those movies where the protagonist gets back from an awesome party and then realises that he knows nothing in the paper, the only difference here was that there was no 'awesome party' and this was stuff that I vaguely remembered reading the previous night.
After the longest and most awful three hours of my entire life, I walked out looking like my dog had died only to find the same expression on everyone else's face. "I'm not the only one?" I asked, some relief flooding my heart. It's very disturbing to find yourself amongst people who have done extraordinarily well when you haven't and I was glad that this wasn't one of them. "No," said Kalyani in a mournful voice, "This was the worst exam I've ever written. I actually started crying in the exam - I kid you not." "It wasn't that bad," said Zaara, with a very far-away look on her face, "just very general. You can write quite a bit though." I sighed - so much for support. Hoping to turn to a slightly more interesting topic, I asked, "So after the exams get over, when does college re-open?" "In three days." said Kalyani. "Dang nabbit! There goes my recovery period." Sanjana looked rather annoyed. "I think I'm going to need a lot of cold coffee to drown my sorrows in..." I trailed off. "Rhea," said Tia, with laughter in her voice, "you're going to need a lot more than one!"
Every morning, I would wake up at 9:30 a.m. and settle down at the dining table with the newspaper in my hands. At 10:00 a.m., I would sit in front of the television and watch Hindi songs (it was the only way to calm myself down). At 11:00 a.m., I would sit at my desk, religiously poring over my portions. After lunch, at around 3:00 p.m., I would pick up the phone and start calling everyone I knew. Here's a typical conversation between any two people whom I've mentioned in the last few chapters: -
A - Hey!
B - Hey!
A - So... how's the studying going?
B - Um.. Don't really know.. Nothing's going into my head.
A - Ah!
B - What about you?
A - Oh, the same, the same...
B - Hmmm... Hey! Did you watch yesterday's 9 'o' clock movie on Star movies?
A - I did!! It was hilarious!!
B - Especially that bit where they...
And so on and so forth...
And in the midst of all this madness, more whackiness came in the form of voice messages. For those of you who don't remember, the ad campaign featured Saif Ali Khan and Shahrukh Khan with the former practicing how to tell his love that he missed her, on the latter. A few days before my Developmental Psychology paper, I was sitting on the sofa and racking my head for a reason to start studying when I received a call from Aditi. I picked up the call and was about to say "Hey!" when with much aplomb, Aditi said, "I miss you so much it huuuurts!! Isn't this cool?" she continued before I could suspect a difference in her sexual orientation, "Send me some alright?" Before I could properly understand the situation, I found myself calling up random people and sending them even more random voice messages.
Finally, the day before the fateful exam, I felt a deep urge to bang my head against a wall and I finally decided that it was time to start studying. After cramming in as much as I could, I set off confidently for my exam only to be handed a paper that looked like it was written in a different language. I felt like I was a part of one of those movies where the protagonist gets back from an awesome party and then realises that he knows nothing in the paper, the only difference here was that there was no 'awesome party' and this was stuff that I vaguely remembered reading the previous night.
After the longest and most awful three hours of my entire life, I walked out looking like my dog had died only to find the same expression on everyone else's face. "I'm not the only one?" I asked, some relief flooding my heart. It's very disturbing to find yourself amongst people who have done extraordinarily well when you haven't and I was glad that this wasn't one of them. "No," said Kalyani in a mournful voice, "This was the worst exam I've ever written. I actually started crying in the exam - I kid you not." "It wasn't that bad," said Zaara, with a very far-away look on her face, "just very general. You can write quite a bit though." I sighed - so much for support. Hoping to turn to a slightly more interesting topic, I asked, "So after the exams get over, when does college re-open?" "In three days." said Kalyani. "Dang nabbit! There goes my recovery period." Sanjana looked rather annoyed. "I think I'm going to need a lot of cold coffee to drown my sorrows in..." I trailed off. "Rhea," said Tia, with laughter in her voice, "you're going to need a lot more than one!"
Monday, June 1, 2009
CHAPTER 9
"Rhea, please stop yawning! It's not helping any of us!" said Sanjana in a very tired voice. "I'm sorry but getting up at 5:45 a.m. just so that I can reach the beach, of all the places, by 7:30 a.m. is just not my thing!" I said just a few seconds before I yawned again. At 7 a.m., I found myself standing on the beach trying desperately to stay awake. It should have been an easy task, considering the fact that it was a terribly hot morning. Sanjana had settled down on the pavement, her legs crossed while Nika stared out groggily at the blue expanse of sea ahead.
"I can't take this anymore!" said Tia as she pulled herself up. "I'm going for a walk. Does anyone want to join me?" "Oh yes!" said Sanjana, jumping up, albeit still quite disoriented. She tottered for a moment or two and then regained her balance. The two of them slowly made their way towards the water.
Nika and I stared at their retreating figures. "How long are we supposed to stay here again?" I asked. Nika, her palm on her cheek, turned to em awkwardly and said, "About 3 or 4 hours?" I sighed as I tried to push my hair out of my face. "You know," said Nika, "this would actually be romantic if either you were a guy or I was a guy.." I turned to her, a skeptical look on my face and said, "How nice of you to make this a lot more awkward for the both of us now! No really..."
Nika grinned her usual way and turned to look at the sea. I followed suit only to see Tia and Sanjana msking their way back towards us. "You know what happened?" asked Sanjana, her trademark grin in place. "What happened?" asked a visibly excited Nika. It was just very like her - mundane things and celebrity gossip make her look like she's had a few shots of vodka.
"Well, we reached the water and we were talking and suddenly," she went on, " these two girls from evening college (I think..) with cameras ask us to pose for their photos!" "Oh well, that's nice!" I said. "But that's not the entire story!" said Tia, her eyes gleaming, "So these girls ask us to face the water and - get this - hold hands!" "So Tia and I are standing there and giggling away to glory," continued Sanjana, "while these two are standing behind us, clicking and laughing their heads off as well!" "We looked so gay!" said Tia, putting her hands to her head, "People must have thought we were a gay couple or something!" "Oh thank God! Zaara's coming! I don't think I could have taken any more of this!" I grinned at their indignant faces.
"Well, fine, Rhea! Atleast we're interesting people with interesting stories to tell, right Sanjana?" Sanjana nodded fervently in reply. "Hey, what about me?" asked Nika, "I didn't scoff at you guys..." "Oh yeah! And Nika too!" said Tia, with mock anger. "Hey!" said Zaara as she reached us. "Guess what?" said Tia in her 'happy' voice, "Two girls made us pose for their photos and made us look like a gay couple!" "Uh-huh?" said Zaara, confusion evident on her face, "I'm so proud of the two of you?" "Bah!" said Sanjana, "another disbeliever! I'm hurt!" "Yeah Zaara! How could you do that?" asked Nika, her head bobbing furiously, "that's equal to saying that you don't support the gay community!"
"Well in that case," said Zaara, "I'm so proud of you! You finally came out of the closet! Better, Nika?" "Yeah, whatever man! I'm bored now.." Nika smiled again. "Hey look they're handing out posters!" I said, as a group of girls started handing out rolls of chart in front of us. "Oh, we're finally starting!" said Tia, as she tried pinning on a red ribbon that she had been handed. Zaara sighed and said, "On the bright side, we'll back home two hours from now."
***********************
10:30 a.m. - We found ourselves still standing on the beach, sad faces in a row. We were holding up a poster each, dismally staring into the distance. At about 9, just as was expected, a rather strong downpour of rain hit us and we crouched under our umbrellas, which didn't really help us much. A few moments after the rain stopped, truckloads of men wearing yellow shirts started arriving at the beach to listen to some politician's rant. It was almost ironic considering that we were fighting against sexual harrassment after it started taking place right there. "So this is the thanks we get for fighting against sexual harrassment? A bunch of lecherous dodos ogling at us? That's too ironic for anyone's standards!" said Sanjana, her jaw looking a lot sharper than usual. "Well, it's over, man! Let's just go home now - I'm exhausted!" said Nika. Tia nodded in agreement and we made our way to the refreshment stands to find Cara.
"I can't take this anymore!" said Tia as she pulled herself up. "I'm going for a walk. Does anyone want to join me?" "Oh yes!" said Sanjana, jumping up, albeit still quite disoriented. She tottered for a moment or two and then regained her balance. The two of them slowly made their way towards the water.
Nika and I stared at their retreating figures. "How long are we supposed to stay here again?" I asked. Nika, her palm on her cheek, turned to em awkwardly and said, "About 3 or 4 hours?" I sighed as I tried to push my hair out of my face. "You know," said Nika, "this would actually be romantic if either you were a guy or I was a guy.." I turned to her, a skeptical look on my face and said, "How nice of you to make this a lot more awkward for the both of us now! No really..."
Nika grinned her usual way and turned to look at the sea. I followed suit only to see Tia and Sanjana msking their way back towards us. "You know what happened?" asked Sanjana, her trademark grin in place. "What happened?" asked a visibly excited Nika. It was just very like her - mundane things and celebrity gossip make her look like she's had a few shots of vodka.
"Well, we reached the water and we were talking and suddenly," she went on, " these two girls from evening college (I think..) with cameras ask us to pose for their photos!" "Oh well, that's nice!" I said. "But that's not the entire story!" said Tia, her eyes gleaming, "So these girls ask us to face the water and - get this - hold hands!" "So Tia and I are standing there and giggling away to glory," continued Sanjana, "while these two are standing behind us, clicking and laughing their heads off as well!" "We looked so gay!" said Tia, putting her hands to her head, "People must have thought we were a gay couple or something!" "Oh thank God! Zaara's coming! I don't think I could have taken any more of this!" I grinned at their indignant faces.
"Well, fine, Rhea! Atleast we're interesting people with interesting stories to tell, right Sanjana?" Sanjana nodded fervently in reply. "Hey, what about me?" asked Nika, "I didn't scoff at you guys..." "Oh yeah! And Nika too!" said Tia, with mock anger. "Hey!" said Zaara as she reached us. "Guess what?" said Tia in her 'happy' voice, "Two girls made us pose for their photos and made us look like a gay couple!" "Uh-huh?" said Zaara, confusion evident on her face, "I'm so proud of the two of you?" "Bah!" said Sanjana, "another disbeliever! I'm hurt!" "Yeah Zaara! How could you do that?" asked Nika, her head bobbing furiously, "that's equal to saying that you don't support the gay community!"
"Well in that case," said Zaara, "I'm so proud of you! You finally came out of the closet! Better, Nika?" "Yeah, whatever man! I'm bored now.." Nika smiled again. "Hey look they're handing out posters!" I said, as a group of girls started handing out rolls of chart in front of us. "Oh, we're finally starting!" said Tia, as she tried pinning on a red ribbon that she had been handed. Zaara sighed and said, "On the bright side, we'll back home two hours from now."
***********************
10:30 a.m. - We found ourselves still standing on the beach, sad faces in a row. We were holding up a poster each, dismally staring into the distance. At about 9, just as was expected, a rather strong downpour of rain hit us and we crouched under our umbrellas, which didn't really help us much. A few moments after the rain stopped, truckloads of men wearing yellow shirts started arriving at the beach to listen to some politician's rant. It was almost ironic considering that we were fighting against sexual harrassment after it started taking place right there. "So this is the thanks we get for fighting against sexual harrassment? A bunch of lecherous dodos ogling at us? That's too ironic for anyone's standards!" said Sanjana, her jaw looking a lot sharper than usual. "Well, it's over, man! Let's just go home now - I'm exhausted!" said Nika. Tia nodded in agreement and we made our way to the refreshment stands to find Cara.
CHAPTER 8
Look who's back after an age!!
*************************************************************************************
"So," said Zaara, as Sanjana and I approached the large group standing at the garden, "did you get negative hours?""We managed to talk her out of it." I said as I sat down. "We did get a warning though." Sanjana pointed out. I nodded slowly and then stared at thr ground in front of me. "Are we indulging in some remote form of gardening not yet known to most of mankind?" asked Sanjana, a puzzled look on her face. "Apparently..." Zaara trailed off as she watched me closely scrutinize a weed from five different angles out of sheer boredom, "no, really? What are you trying to do?" "She's trying to figure out how to pull the weed out fully without having to put in too much effort. You know? A clean break?" said Aditi, her dimple flashing. She looked at Sanjana and the two of them burst out into fits of hopeless giggles.
"Ha, ha, how very funny." I said in a very painful tone, "kill me! Kill me now!" I turned to my left to see Akriti pulling out weeds with a very bored look on her face. "Hey!" said Nika, quickly straightening up, "you know what we should do? We should grow weed and sell it at devastatingly high prices!" "Ooh, I like that!" Zaara grinned as she clapped her hands. "But why would anyone buy weed at 'devastatingly high prices'?" asked Akriti.
-"Because it's premium weed!!"
-"And how is it premium?"
-"Because we all voted and decided to add the word in front? Now let me get on with the story!"
I moved back to avoid her flailing arms. Everyone else nodded. "OK," said Nika, still gesticulating wildly, "imagine this - we'll start off small like growing weed in a pot and then selling it on a small scale in college, from whi.." "Do you seriously think that half the people in this place know what weed is, let alone becoming a regular customer?" asked Sanjana. "Stop butting in!! Besides I'm sure that there are loads of druggies here and we just don't know about them. Anyway," Nika continued, "so we start off small scale and slowly increase our production till we have, like, huge fields of marijuana!"
"And absolutely no one will notice that you've grown richer and own a few acres of fields filled with marijuana?" asked Sanjana, who was struggling with a particularly difficult weed. "Shut up, silly child! What are you going to name the company?" asked Zaara, nearly jumping with excitement. "I'm going to call it..." said Nika dramatically, "Nagalakshmi Weeds and Co.!" She looked back at us, grinning broadly only to be greeted by blank stares. A few moments later, we all burst into giggles. "Are you guys doing any gardening?" yelled a voice from behind us. "Yeah, yeah," I said, throwing my stick at a large ant, "What's the time?" Sanjana looked at her watch and said, "Dang! It's 1:40! We're late for HR!!" "Again?" I sighed, as I slowly straightened up, "Why does this happen to me? Why, I ask you, why..." "Oh, for God's sake, just shut up and leave!" Zaara said rather emphatically. I looked at her, my eyebrows raised andsaid, "Fine!" I was never any good at comebacks.
*************************************************************************************
"So," said Zaara, as Sanjana and I approached the large group standing at the garden, "did you get negative hours?""We managed to talk her out of it." I said as I sat down. "We did get a warning though." Sanjana pointed out. I nodded slowly and then stared at thr ground in front of me. "Are we indulging in some remote form of gardening not yet known to most of mankind?" asked Sanjana, a puzzled look on her face. "Apparently..." Zaara trailed off as she watched me closely scrutinize a weed from five different angles out of sheer boredom, "no, really? What are you trying to do?" "She's trying to figure out how to pull the weed out fully without having to put in too much effort. You know? A clean break?" said Aditi, her dimple flashing. She looked at Sanjana and the two of them burst out into fits of hopeless giggles.
"Ha, ha, how very funny." I said in a very painful tone, "kill me! Kill me now!" I turned to my left to see Akriti pulling out weeds with a very bored look on her face. "Hey!" said Nika, quickly straightening up, "you know what we should do? We should grow weed and sell it at devastatingly high prices!" "Ooh, I like that!" Zaara grinned as she clapped her hands. "But why would anyone buy weed at 'devastatingly high prices'?" asked Akriti.
-"Because it's premium weed!!"
-"And how is it premium?"
-"Because we all voted and decided to add the word in front? Now let me get on with the story!"
I moved back to avoid her flailing arms. Everyone else nodded. "OK," said Nika, still gesticulating wildly, "imagine this - we'll start off small like growing weed in a pot and then selling it on a small scale in college, from whi.." "Do you seriously think that half the people in this place know what weed is, let alone becoming a regular customer?" asked Sanjana. "Stop butting in!! Besides I'm sure that there are loads of druggies here and we just don't know about them. Anyway," Nika continued, "so we start off small scale and slowly increase our production till we have, like, huge fields of marijuana!"
"And absolutely no one will notice that you've grown richer and own a few acres of fields filled with marijuana?" asked Sanjana, who was struggling with a particularly difficult weed. "Shut up, silly child! What are you going to name the company?" asked Zaara, nearly jumping with excitement. "I'm going to call it..." said Nika dramatically, "Nagalakshmi Weeds and Co.!" She looked back at us, grinning broadly only to be greeted by blank stares. A few moments later, we all burst into giggles. "Are you guys doing any gardening?" yelled a voice from behind us. "Yeah, yeah," I said, throwing my stick at a large ant, "What's the time?" Sanjana looked at her watch and said, "Dang! It's 1:40! We're late for HR!!" "Again?" I sighed, as I slowly straightened up, "Why does this happen to me? Why, I ask you, why..." "Oh, for God's sake, just shut up and leave!" Zaara said rather emphatically. I looked at her, my eyebrows raised andsaid, "Fine!" I was never any good at comebacks.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Hmmm... Valentine's Day??
More than a month ago, I found myself staring at an advertisement in a newspaper. The bold pink letters announced the arrival of the greatest day in human history. I scoffed and turned the page. Don’t take me wrong because I wasn’t ridiculing something like Martyr’s Day or Republic Day and they deserve more attention and publicity than they get. The day being advertised in the newspaper, however, is the most hyped and perhaps, the most depressing day ever invented in the course of human history - Valentine’s Day.
I am pretty sure that the 14th of February was not as commercial or saccharine as it is today. The tradition of celebrating this day started in ancient Rome. The 14th of February was marked as a holiday to honour Juno, the queen of Roman gods and goddesses. She was also known to the Romans as the goddess of women and marriage. The Feast Of Lupercalia was held the following day, the 15th of February.
One version says that St. Valentine was a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on the 14th of February, 269 A.D., the same day marked for love lotteries. Another version says that during the reign of Emperor Claudius, the Roman Army was rather small and finding new recruits was difficult. The Emperor believed that the reason for the low number was that the men did not want to leave their wives and families. In a rather cruel move, he cancelled all marriages and engagements. St. Valentine, a Roman priest and St. Marius helped Christian martyrs and also got couples married secretly. When they were found out, the Prefect of Rome condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and have his head cut off.
Perhaps, it is for the best that St. Valentine is not alive today to see what his brainchild has morphed into - a commercialized monster growing from the profits that it makes every year. I was walking past a previously lonely stationery shop in my neighbourhood and was stunned to see that every corner was crammed with sickeningly sweet red and pink balloons. The shop, that was almost completely obscure over two months ago, was filled with mushy couples giggling over the merchandise.
Today you can’t walk down the road without being harassed by huge boards stating that you need love in your dismal, lonely life. Now, if you interpret it correctly, what they are really saying is that they need more money to publicise themselves and therefore, we need to help them by falling in love and indulging in some serious shopping on V - day! So, along with the pressure to become a doctor or an engineer and get married, we are now pressurized to fall in love.
On top of that, our inboxes are now flooded with emails demanding to know whether you “have found the right man” or whether you are “really in love”. Special programs aired on the television interview celebrity couples on Valentine’s Day asking them how they fell in love and how they keep the “magic” alive. The worst part, however, is that in certain parts of the city, you cannot wear certain colours on “the day” and expect to survive on the roads. You are usually mistaken for a lovelorn girl searching for the right guy. No doubt if I wear a colour that says I’m available, it is my fault but then again, after the basic shades, you pretty much run out of colours!
Along with this comes a new warped definition of love. “Love is blind”, “love has no reason” are thrown in your face when you give rather logical reasons for not having a boyfriend. However, the love that we connect to Valentine’s Day is as false as it can get. As Maurice Chevalier once said, “Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.” While I personally have nothing against the idea of love, there are a few aspects I disagree with. However, the one thing that I appreciate about the modern idea of love is that it’s more sensible than it used to be. While critics may say that true love has taken a step back by depending on the size of someone’s wallet, I think common sense has grown by leaps and bounds. It is definitely better than falling for a pauper and regretting it for the rest of your life.
Coming back to our topic at hand, a friend once told me, “I don’t understand why Valentine’s Day is meant only for the couples. Shouldn’t it be a day when you get to spend time with your loved ones? Valentine’s Day is now seen as a day when men go broke as they rush to buy flowers and gifts for their girlfriends. Frankly, it’s of no use because by the next Valentine’s Day, they’re doing the same thing for someone else.
I can’t say that Valentine’s Day passes without affecting anyone, even the toughest at heart. Everyone, in a way, celebrates it whether they like it or criticise its existence to no end. There are two ways in which different people celebrate V-day. The first way is very common - to go out with your partner and celebrate the day with flowers, gifts, the works. The second method is to sit in front of the telly all day, watching romantic comedies and guzzling down bar after bar of dark chocolate. No prizes for guessing what I did this Valentine’s Day!!
I am pretty sure that the 14th of February was not as commercial or saccharine as it is today. The tradition of celebrating this day started in ancient Rome. The 14th of February was marked as a holiday to honour Juno, the queen of Roman gods and goddesses. She was also known to the Romans as the goddess of women and marriage. The Feast Of Lupercalia was held the following day, the 15th of February.
One version says that St. Valentine was a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on the 14th of February, 269 A.D., the same day marked for love lotteries. Another version says that during the reign of Emperor Claudius, the Roman Army was rather small and finding new recruits was difficult. The Emperor believed that the reason for the low number was that the men did not want to leave their wives and families. In a rather cruel move, he cancelled all marriages and engagements. St. Valentine, a Roman priest and St. Marius helped Christian martyrs and also got couples married secretly. When they were found out, the Prefect of Rome condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and have his head cut off.
Perhaps, it is for the best that St. Valentine is not alive today to see what his brainchild has morphed into - a commercialized monster growing from the profits that it makes every year. I was walking past a previously lonely stationery shop in my neighbourhood and was stunned to see that every corner was crammed with sickeningly sweet red and pink balloons. The shop, that was almost completely obscure over two months ago, was filled with mushy couples giggling over the merchandise.
Today you can’t walk down the road without being harassed by huge boards stating that you need love in your dismal, lonely life. Now, if you interpret it correctly, what they are really saying is that they need more money to publicise themselves and therefore, we need to help them by falling in love and indulging in some serious shopping on V - day! So, along with the pressure to become a doctor or an engineer and get married, we are now pressurized to fall in love.
On top of that, our inboxes are now flooded with emails demanding to know whether you “have found the right man” or whether you are “really in love”. Special programs aired on the television interview celebrity couples on Valentine’s Day asking them how they fell in love and how they keep the “magic” alive. The worst part, however, is that in certain parts of the city, you cannot wear certain colours on “the day” and expect to survive on the roads. You are usually mistaken for a lovelorn girl searching for the right guy. No doubt if I wear a colour that says I’m available, it is my fault but then again, after the basic shades, you pretty much run out of colours!
Along with this comes a new warped definition of love. “Love is blind”, “love has no reason” are thrown in your face when you give rather logical reasons for not having a boyfriend. However, the love that we connect to Valentine’s Day is as false as it can get. As Maurice Chevalier once said, “Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.” While I personally have nothing against the idea of love, there are a few aspects I disagree with. However, the one thing that I appreciate about the modern idea of love is that it’s more sensible than it used to be. While critics may say that true love has taken a step back by depending on the size of someone’s wallet, I think common sense has grown by leaps and bounds. It is definitely better than falling for a pauper and regretting it for the rest of your life.
Coming back to our topic at hand, a friend once told me, “I don’t understand why Valentine’s Day is meant only for the couples. Shouldn’t it be a day when you get to spend time with your loved ones? Valentine’s Day is now seen as a day when men go broke as they rush to buy flowers and gifts for their girlfriends. Frankly, it’s of no use because by the next Valentine’s Day, they’re doing the same thing for someone else.
I can’t say that Valentine’s Day passes without affecting anyone, even the toughest at heart. Everyone, in a way, celebrates it whether they like it or criticise its existence to no end. There are two ways in which different people celebrate V-day. The first way is very common - to go out with your partner and celebrate the day with flowers, gifts, the works. The second method is to sit in front of the telly all day, watching romantic comedies and guzzling down bar after bar of dark chocolate. No prizes for guessing what I did this Valentine’s Day!!
CHAPTER 7
DISCLAIMER - This incident is based loosely on a true incident and may have been exaggerated a little and the author would like to say to the people involved - "Hey, no hard feelings, please?" because she treasures her rear and would like her face to stay in decent shape.
********************************
The lecture came to an end abruptly as the bell rang out shrilly. Petunia's face seemed radiant and you could almost see a small smile forming. The same could not be said for the rest of the class. As luck would have it, I was not the only one who had been dissed. Nika who was valiantly trying to voice her opinions was told that she was wrong and that she had better sit down.
People stood up around me, getting ready to leave college for the day. I remained glued to my seat in shock. I had just lived through a feminist lecture - I never thought that I would make it through half the lecture! Of course I'd gotten jacked in the middle but I'd still survived to tell the tale. "Rhea?" came a blurry voice, interrupting my thoughts. "Huh?" I said groggily, as I slowly came to. Sanjana was standing next to me, a broad grin on her face. "If you rub it in, I will beat you up. Wipe that stupid smile off your face!"
- "I'm not saying anything.."
-"Well, your face says it all!"
- "Not my fault that I have an extremely expressive face and large eyes.."
-"I'm serious about beating you up."
"OK, OK," said Sanjana, "we have a GB to get to now. So hurry up." I groaned and covered my face.
A GB, for those who don't know, is a general body meeting. They were probably designed for a purpose at first but now we just got yelled at a lot in GBs for either not doing our work or behaving badly. Now and then, A GB would be called to tell us what activities are coming up and very rarely, GBs were called to congratulate us for our decent behaviour.
We shuffled out of class slowly, not very eager to get to the meeting area where a large number of girls had already assembled and were gossiping away to their heart's delight. Cara, Rashmi and Preethi, three of the Rotaract officials stood in front of them. A visibly frustrated Cara was talking to Rashmi every few minutes while Preethi was her perky old self, hopping around as she listened in on the conversation.
Sanjana and I walked up and pushed people around a little so that we could sit down in a place with atleast a little shade. Most of it had been taken up but this is why you run to a person whom you know and then sit down next to them. "Alright people, settle down. We're going to start now - please be quiet," said Cara, her usually calm voice tinged with a hint of impatience. Next to her poised, calm nature, I always felt like a clumsy oaf who couldn't pronounce words like "trepidation" or "serendipity" without messing it up.
There had been one incident when I was getting a drop home. Cara had offered to drive me back along with Rashmi. She and Rashmi were discussing their jobs in Rotaract and some other organisation. I sank into the backseat as far as I could go, peeking out of the window only once to drool at Kunal Kapoor's posters.
Cara opened her book and started dictationg a list of activities and events that would take place in the course of the month. Most of the crowd continued chattering while a few industrious people (including yours truly) took down the dates. I have been teased and ragged about it but at the month I'm the one considered the saviour so I really don't care! "And now," said Rashmi as she closed her book with an air of finality, " we've noticed that many of you register for the events but do not turn up for any of them. So we've decided to subtract hours from your total hours if you continue to do so."
A section of the crowd fell silent. "This means," continued Rashmi, "that if you sign up for an event and do not turn up for it, we will remove the hours that you would have gotten from it from your total hours." "Brilliant, just brilliant!" muttered Sanjana. Most of the crowd had fallen silent now. As Cara and Rashmi took turns reproaching the entire crowd for their lack of sense of duty and disobedience, I stared down at my book, watching the lines and letters form swirls of dust that vaguely resembled Captain Jack Sparrow doing the salsa with Tom (from Tom and Jerry, in case you didn't know) "Oh dear!" said Sanjana, as the meeting ended. "Hmmm?" I said watching as Tom morphed into the Kraken and devoured him.
-"What are we going to do?"
-"What are we going to do about what?"
-"Were you even listening to her?"
-"Not really, I was watching Captain Jack..."
-"You freak, we bunked the rally!!"
-"Oh, oh that! Crap! What do we do?"
-"We have to talk to them so..."
Sanjana gestured at me, trying to make me get up. I stood up and the two of us shot off towards the science block, with many pairs of amused eyes on us.
********************************
The lecture came to an end abruptly as the bell rang out shrilly. Petunia's face seemed radiant and you could almost see a small smile forming. The same could not be said for the rest of the class. As luck would have it, I was not the only one who had been dissed. Nika who was valiantly trying to voice her opinions was told that she was wrong and that she had better sit down.
People stood up around me, getting ready to leave college for the day. I remained glued to my seat in shock. I had just lived through a feminist lecture - I never thought that I would make it through half the lecture! Of course I'd gotten jacked in the middle but I'd still survived to tell the tale. "Rhea?" came a blurry voice, interrupting my thoughts. "Huh?" I said groggily, as I slowly came to. Sanjana was standing next to me, a broad grin on her face. "If you rub it in, I will beat you up. Wipe that stupid smile off your face!"
- "I'm not saying anything.."
-"Well, your face says it all!"
- "Not my fault that I have an extremely expressive face and large eyes.."
-"I'm serious about beating you up."
"OK, OK," said Sanjana, "we have a GB to get to now. So hurry up." I groaned and covered my face.
A GB, for those who don't know, is a general body meeting. They were probably designed for a purpose at first but now we just got yelled at a lot in GBs for either not doing our work or behaving badly. Now and then, A GB would be called to tell us what activities are coming up and very rarely, GBs were called to congratulate us for our decent behaviour.
We shuffled out of class slowly, not very eager to get to the meeting area where a large number of girls had already assembled and were gossiping away to their heart's delight. Cara, Rashmi and Preethi, three of the Rotaract officials stood in front of them. A visibly frustrated Cara was talking to Rashmi every few minutes while Preethi was her perky old self, hopping around as she listened in on the conversation.
Sanjana and I walked up and pushed people around a little so that we could sit down in a place with atleast a little shade. Most of it had been taken up but this is why you run to a person whom you know and then sit down next to them. "Alright people, settle down. We're going to start now - please be quiet," said Cara, her usually calm voice tinged with a hint of impatience. Next to her poised, calm nature, I always felt like a clumsy oaf who couldn't pronounce words like "trepidation" or "serendipity" without messing it up.
There had been one incident when I was getting a drop home. Cara had offered to drive me back along with Rashmi. She and Rashmi were discussing their jobs in Rotaract and some other organisation. I sank into the backseat as far as I could go, peeking out of the window only once to drool at Kunal Kapoor's posters.
Cara opened her book and started dictationg a list of activities and events that would take place in the course of the month. Most of the crowd continued chattering while a few industrious people (including yours truly) took down the dates. I have been teased and ragged about it but at the month I'm the one considered the saviour so I really don't care! "And now," said Rashmi as she closed her book with an air of finality, " we've noticed that many of you register for the events but do not turn up for any of them. So we've decided to subtract hours from your total hours if you continue to do so."
A section of the crowd fell silent. "This means," continued Rashmi, "that if you sign up for an event and do not turn up for it, we will remove the hours that you would have gotten from it from your total hours." "Brilliant, just brilliant!" muttered Sanjana. Most of the crowd had fallen silent now. As Cara and Rashmi took turns reproaching the entire crowd for their lack of sense of duty and disobedience, I stared down at my book, watching the lines and letters form swirls of dust that vaguely resembled Captain Jack Sparrow doing the salsa with Tom (from Tom and Jerry, in case you didn't know) "Oh dear!" said Sanjana, as the meeting ended. "Hmmm?" I said watching as Tom morphed into the Kraken and devoured him.
-"What are we going to do?"
-"What are we going to do about what?"
-"Were you even listening to her?"
-"Not really, I was watching Captain Jack..."
-"You freak, we bunked the rally!!"
-"Oh, oh that! Crap! What do we do?"
-"We have to talk to them so..."
Sanjana gestured at me, trying to make me get up. I stood up and the two of us shot off towards the science block, with many pairs of amused eyes on us.
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